Sunday, November 11, 2012

I used to be ashamed of my snoring. Now I'm ashamed to be a grown woman in a pink retainer.

This weekend I came across an ad in a Dutch newspaper for a product called "LadySnore." With a name like that I obviously had to share news of this product with you.

The "LadySnore" is a giant pink retainer intended to help women - oh sorry, make that ladies - stop snoring. Because only ladies care about snoring. The rest of us ordinary slatterns are content to go on snorting and sputtering the whole night through. And as for men, well, I guess if a man puts the LadySnore in his mouth it just self-destructs on contact. The LadySnore that is, not the man's mouth. Though who knows. It isn't called "ManSnore," after all.

"New: the first female snore retainer" Really? This is the first? I don't believe it. From the website of SnorEx.
Now, the first thing I want to say about the "LadySnore" is: some of you may have been under the (mistaken) impression that some or even all of the things I write about in this blog are made up. I hope the existence of a pink anti-snore device specially designed for women is proof that there is no need for me to resort to fabrication in an effort to find something amusing to talk about.

The LadySnore. From the website of SnorEx.

Second, I think it's important that I tell you that the word for "snore" in Dutch is snurk, which I have decided is officially the second-best word in the whole of the Dutch language. The best word in Dutch is, naturally, klonkers.

Yes, the LadySnore is totally elegant. Compared to snoring.

Photo from the website of SnorEx.

According to the website of the company that sells the LadySnore, even though more women snore than ever before (40% of Dutch snorers are apparently female, or, as it is put in the text above "of the female sex"), snoring remains a "taboo" among women, who are often ashamed of their snoring, even amongst friends or with their own partners.

Now they don't have to be ashamed anymore. Of their snoring, at least.