Thursday, September 6, 2012

Schreeuw van geluk (scream from happiness) - a drama in one part



Conversation between me and a call centre employee at an online clothing retailer:

ME: “Hi. I’m calling because I want to return a pair of shoes. I have the box that the shoes were packaged in, but I don’t have the original outer box that was used in the delivery from your warehouse. Is it okay to send the shoes back just in the shoebox, or does this need to be re-packaged in another outer box?

DELIBERATELY OBTUSE CALL CENTRE PERSON: “You don’t need to use the original box. You can send the article back in any box.”

ME: “Yes, okay. But what I want to know is, does “the article” include the shoebox? I mean, do I need to place the shoes and shoebox in another box to protect the shoebox from damage, or can I just wrap up the shoe box and send it back like that.”

BDOCCP: “You can use any box you have. It doesn’t have to be the original.”

ME: “So it doesn’t matter if the shoebox becomes damaged from the tape I’ll use to close it, for instance?”

BDOCCP: “You should pack the item in a sturdy box so it doesn’t get damaged. Let me explain how the return process works for you, then hopefully you will understand what to do.” (Yes, she actually said this)

(BDOCCP then proceeds to walk me through the incredibly complex steps I will need to follow in order to return my shoes. I’m really glad she does this, because without her help I never would have guessed that I would have to complete such difficult tasks as “place the item in a box”, “fasten the box securely with tape” and “take the box to the post office.” Thank God we have BDOCCPs to explain this stuff to us).

ME: Yes, I understand the process, but that’s not actually what I am asking. What I am asking is if it matters if the shoe box is used as the actual delivery box or if I need to place this inside another box, as was the case when the item was first sent to me.

BDOCCP: “You can use any box you have. I said that already.”

ME: “Okay, thank you. You’ve been very helpful.”

Now I really wish you fit

The tagline this shop uses in their advertisements is “schreeuw van geluk” which means “scream from happiness.” Oh yes. It's totally from happiness that I'm screaming.